Girls' Weekend Prep (or Massive Freak-Out)

This weekend, I'm going to Chicago with some girlfriends! I am so excited! I am sure the trip is going to be so fun and relaxing, but the prep is freaking me out.

It's not news that I am a slightly anxious person. I worry about the smallest, dumbest details. Mostly I worry about what to wear. I don't shop on a regular basis, and when a big event is coming up, I start panicking about which 3-year-old dress to wear, or which pair of jeans looks the least like 1999. I usually LOSE it. Ask Sean. He'd probably give his left arm to never have to deal with another "What am I going to wear" melt-down again.

I mean, I don't want to look like I'm a complete nerd... maybe Chicagoans (is that right?) dress completely differently than Houstonians (how about this? What do we call ourselves, and how do we spell it?). I don't want to stand out in any way. Unless of course I look drop-dead gorgeous. That type of standing-out is completely acceptable.

I'll probably also worry about the flight. I really don't enjoy flying. I usually picture the plane going down, and everyone dying. I know- flying is safer than driving. I still nearly pee my pants during take-off and landing.

I, of course, will need to get my eyebrows done and a mani-pedi. Can't be seen with unwanted facial hair or chipped polish while on girls' weekend. I will most definitely need to exfoliate and moisturize. (I'm getting so sick of how much maintenance it takes to be a woman. Shaving is the worst. I also hate putting on make-up everyday, but hate even more being asked if I'm tired 100 times a day, so I guess there's no end to it.)

Thinking about packing my suitcase is making my heart race. I will no doubt make a last minute stop at the mall sometime before Friday... and will totally melt-down in J.Crew and walk out without buying anything.

Me: staring at same sweater for five minutes without blinking

Sales Clerk: "Can I help you find something?"

Me: "Ummmm.... no. I'm just looking."

Sales Clerk: "Do you have a special event that you're shopping for?"

Me: "No. I mean, yes. I mean, I don't know. I hate shopping."

Sales Clerk: blank stare, pity smile

Me:(sweating) "You know what, I don't need anything. I'm just going to leave. I feel sick to my stomach. Where's the nearest restroom?"


I actually like shopping, but only when I don't need to find anything. And when I feel really skinny. And when I am wearing something cute. And, when I'm sitting at home on my computer shopping online.


Time to relax. I really need to learn how to do that.