Surgery- Check.

It's all done! I'm so happy to say it's over, and that it went very well.

I was so nervous before hand. It wasn't as though I was sitting around thinking, "I am so nervous." My body let me know just how nervous I was via terrible heartburn, bloating, indigestion, and sleeplessness. It amazes me how emotions can manifest in your body like that.

Well, the entire procedure was cake. The hospital staff was wonderful, and of course I love my doctor. She came in before the procedure and was briefly explaining what she was about to do, saying, "We're going to remove this polyp and clean things up in there, we're going to wait two periods so that your uterus can heal completely, then we're going to have babies, lots of dirty diapers, and eventually college tuition payments!" I love her!

The anesthesia hit me pretty hard, and I was sick to my stomach and majorly loopy for a while, but other than that, I felt pretty good. Today, I feel great. I am going to force myself to rest though (it's soooo hard to force myself to do nothing all day :) ) and just take it easy for the weekend so that I can be back to work on Monday.

When Dr. Levin came to talk to Sean about the procedure, she said that the polyp she removed was actually quite large and that it had most likely been growing in there for years. She said there was no way I was ever going to get pregnant with that in there. I have been thanking God for all the little decisions and circumstances that led me to Dr. Levin's office because it may never have been found and taken care of so quickly without her.

Sean was an absolute angel throughout all of this too. He's been amazing. He said that I haven't been myself since I found out there was something going on, not totally crazy or anything, just not quite myself. I hope now I can really put this behind me and feel better. I want to be a good wife and partner for him. He made me and my parents dinner last night (it was sooo good) and he had some flowers sent to me! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband.

My mom and dad came over and brought me some beautiful tulips, and a delicious chocolate pie, and stayed and visited for a while. It was nice to see them and have their support. After they left I went to bed, and just woke up not long ago. A great, long, sleep was just what I needed after three nights of terrible sleep!

Now, to catch up on some tivoed CBS Sunday Morning News and a nice cup of coffee! I'm looking forward to today- and to the next few months. You never know... I could be pregnant by the summer! But if I'm not it's OK. I'm just going to enjoy easier periods with less cramping! :)

Nerves, or Flesh Eating Bacteria?

Today was my pre-op visit. I had to pee in a cup, and give some blood. You know, answer some questions. Sign my name a few times. It went pretty quickly- which was great because I didn't get stuck in any traffic on the way home.

I am feeling really icky today. I feel extremely bloated and sore. Left over from last week's procedure? Maybe. Ate some bad chicken salad yesterday? Bladder problems back with a vengeance? Not sure. I am just praying that I'll wake up tomorrow and feel much better. I have a bad tendency to assume the worst and get all worked up about things, so terrible conditions have been floating around in my head all day. Crazy infections, organs that are about to explode, near death and don't know how bad it is until it's too late... slightly hypochondriac. Slightly.

I am getting really nervous. I know it's going to be really easy and Dr. Levin does these procedures all the time. I know that the hospital staff is highly trained for emergencies. But, here I am nervous all the same. I am feeling emotional and tired, and of course my tummy is all messed up.

I'm going to follow the great advice I've received, and just pray about it. I know that's truly the only thing that's going to help.

And, try to stop thinking that my guts are about to rupture.


On a side note... the carpet is out of the closet, and the disgusting mildew smell is gone! Now for tiles... hubby says he "may want to do it himself" today, after yesterday saying that "he didn't want to mess with it." I think we should call in someone who will get it done. And fast. My clothes don't fit so well in the guest room closet.

Catch-Up Post

I've been so busy lately.... it just keeps getting busier and crazier too! Here's my attempt at catching you up...

Look how cute my husband is! We've been working out, or more accurately, Sean's been doing an awesome job working out and eating right, and I've been half-assing it. He looks AMAZING! I love this picture of him! Of course, you can't see all his new muscle, but his sweet personality just shines! I love this man!

I got a new car! Whoooo hooo! I totally didn't think it would happen, but Sean just took care of it! It was a good time to replace my old Camry with a newer, more reliable vehicle. Here's my new Ford Edge! I love it!

It drives just like a car- parking is easier actually. Absolutely LOVE it.

We had some family in town a week or so (time is seriously running together) ago and it was so much fun! My aunts Stephie and Nina and uncles John and Mike came to visit from Minnesota! We had them over to our house a couple of times and played lots of Rock Band, because Sean takes EVERY possible opportunity to play! I wish we could see each other more often. I LOVE these aunts and uncles and it is SO nice to see them! I have so much in common with my aunts... it really hurts my heart that we don't live closer together. Here are a few pictures...

We went to Dallas this past weekend to help throw a baby shower for my sweet Barbara. It was such a fun trip! We worked so hard painting her nursery, cleaning and preparing for the shower, and it turned out great! It was such a productive weekend that I left feeling so good! It meant a lot to me to do something for Barb that she would love because I love her so much! She is expecting twins in June and she looks amazing. She is such a beautiful girl, and it was so much fun to spend time with her and all her great friends who got together to make it happen. Total team effort!

Of course I got to see my favorite baby in the whole world, Brady Michael! He is SO precious! He loved, loved, loved Jet- which of course, I ATE UP! Here are some pictures from the shower...

And, now, the most embarrassing part... and the reason for which I need to rush... I flooded our bathroom/closet. Oh yes. I am a total idiot. Really.

Meet my cat, Kit Kat.

Looks sweet, right? Rubbing up on me... really sweet... hmmmmm. I always end up feeling guilty about her (case in point- this is the first time I've mentioned her) so when we left for Dallas I thought I would just leave the sink barely dripping so she wouldn't get dehydrated (she won't drink from a bowl). Well, I also thought it would be a really good idea to plug the drain... I can't even go into my thought process because it's so stupid and I don't have time now because I need to go completely empty the closet so we can RIP the CARPET OUT because it smells like mildewy mess and make way for my adorable neighbor to come tile the closet. Man, I am such an idiot!! Thank goodness we have a very handy, young neighbor who can come help us out and my SWEET hubby just laughed at me and basically said, "shit happens." Again- I love that man!

Caught up? Surgery Friday. Spring Break is over. Damn. I think that covers it.

Uterus Update

This morning I had my appointment with Dr. Levin. She did an exam of my uterus and a quick biopsy of what she thought was a fibroid... but now she says is a polyp. (Since I am avoiding all Internet research of these topics, and since I was too drugged up at the appointment to ask any questions, I can only assume that a polyp is like a cyst or a growth, or whatever.)

The procedure itself was quick, but really, really uncomfortable. Afterwards, I've felt tired and crampy, but all around not too bad. Sean was there. He said he was wincing for me because he could tell it hurt so much. Sweet husband. He was really supportive and took good care of me (mostly he had to help hold me up- that Valium really made me loopy!)

If I'm remembering accurately, Dr. Levin says that this polyp is pretty good size, not huge by any means, but too big to take out while I'm awake. She said she is sure it is the cause of all my yucky period symptoms as well as keeping me from getting pregnant.

My surgery is next Friday. I'm glad the ball is rolling so quickly. I am so glad I went to the doctor when I did, and that she is so proactive. She told us today that we will need to wait for two months after the surgery to start trying for babies again.

I am feeling really emotional about all of this. I'm scared of the surgery. I'm scared of getting pregnant after the surgery. I keep asking myself: Is this really necessary? Do I really need to have this procedure done? Do I really want to have kids anyway? How expensive will this be? Should I be doing this? And what if after the surgery, I still can't get pregnant? Will we do more? Will we just give up?

I know I need to relax. The one Valium I took (oh yes, just one) made me loopy and tired, and now I'm sure it's contributing to all this cry-baby, annoying behavior. I want to snap out of this. The past few weeks I've been tired and stressed. I haven't felt like myself in a long time. I've been going non-stop, and now it's just all snowballing. My poor husband. I feel like I haven't really been a partner lately. He's just been carrying me along. What is it going to take to get back to normal?

Ahhhhhh.....

It is so spring break. I'm laying on my back patio, soaking up a little late-afternoon Texas sun.

Have I heard of sun damage, wrinkles, or skin cancer? Yes.

Do I care? No. Not today!

The weather really could not be more beautiful. 70's and sunny. Nice, cool breeze.

Of course I'm enjoying a cool beverage!





And my favorite black lab is out here with me, checking things out, barking at questionable noises, peeing on anything that smells funny, and dropping his toy on my back. Being all-around adorable.

Great day!

-- Post From My iPhone

Snuggler

This past Saturday, I shared my bed with the cutest boy in the whole world... my puppy! He never sleeps in our bed at home, but slince we were at the farm, and since Sean was sleeping on the air mattress, I decided to invite Jet to sleep with me. He was a great snuggler. It was great! I wish we were snuggling right now...





Maybe I should buy some cheap bedding for at home so he could sleep with us... Sean still wouldn't go for it. :)

-- Post From My iPhone

Long Time

Wow it's been a long time since I've posted. And not that I haven't wanted to. I've been wanting to so much... it's pretty theraputic to write about what's on my mind*. I have been SO FLIPPING BUSY! I almost don't know what I've been spending my time on. Really.

But, today is the start of SPRING BREAK! WHOOOOO HOOOOO! The vacations are one of the biggest perks of being a teacher. This one is going to be busy too, but I'm just going to keep reminding myself that even though I'm busy it's still SPRING BREAK. It's sounds so much cooler that way.

My biopsy is Wednesday morning. I'm becoming pretty scared about it hurting. Not really a huge deal since it will probably last a total of 60 seconds, but man I can turn into a total baby when the possibility of pain arises.

On a very positive note, my terrible allergic rash that completely covered my face in nasty, bumpy redness has almost totally gone away! With the help of some steriods, I now only look like I have a mild case of teenage acne**. And, according to a student, I should just "pop all those pimples" on my face! HA! Kids. What can you do but laugh? It is looking better though, thank God.

And, I think I've just agreed to have lunch, a massage, and a hair appointment all at the same time on Tuesday. Great. I'll figure it out tomorrow...


*And what thrilling things I have on my mind right now! MAN this is a boring post. Ha! That's what's brilliant about blogging- it seems like you're writing and reading about the most simple, boring things ever, and yet, it's NOT boring! I love reading about the simple things that happen in people's lives! We discussed this at dinner the other night. I don't think men get it at all. But, what do they get?

**When a "mild case of teenage acne" is a good thing, you know just how ugly I was looking. Just... puke.

My Uterus

I found out today that (warning any men who may be reading this. Ha! Right! My own husband doesn't read my blog!) terrible, knock you out, heinous periods that last forever, and then never really go away... not normal.

I went to the gyno last week and described what I thought was my own personal blessing, and she suggested an ultrasound to see if all is well. I had my ultrasound today. (Feeling for you pregos out there- who knew you could get a better picture by using a clever little wand. Hm. That was an experience.)

Truly, I thought that Dr. Levin would say that I am just an annoying, whiny bitch and I needed to woman up. But no. She said I have a fibroid. And in a couple of weeks, I will be getting that little sucker biopsied and then, most likely, getting it all sucked out in an outpatient surgery.

Here's my summary of Dr. Levin's spiel:

1. Fibroids cause terrible periods.
2. Fibroids cause spotting.
3. Fibroids keep you from getting pregnant.
4. Fibroids are an easy to solve problem.

I am not going to WebMD this... since I'm sure I'll find lots of things to scare the poop out of me. It'll be OK. In fact, it will be great!

I could have easier periods, less spotting, and a BABY! That's what I'm going to think, anyway.

Prayers welcome.

Holy Hangover

As Jenette would say, last night I "tied one on." Had a blast. Showed off my Rock Band skills.

Our neighbor brought over his sweet, seven-year-old yellow lab, Wishes. She's Jet's girlfriend. He thinks so anyway. She's really not that into him. But it was ADORABLE! Jet had to be next to her- he'd roll over on his back and just wiggle around for her! He'd lick her little ears, and by the end of the night, they were both just laying next to each other on the floor! We need to have her over more often! I wish I had thought to take some pictures. Next time...

Today? Feeling pretty barfy. Note to self: next time, more Rock Band and mini burgers, less vodka.