Another Kid Story...

My coworker and friend, Emily, had a small group of my students in her room the other day and asked them (because she's such a poop), "How is Mrs. Hale different now that she's pregnant?" Here's how they responded...

"She eats a lot of snacks."

"She eats her lunch at snack time now."

"Yeah, she ate a sandwich at 9:30 this morning."

Oh yes, it's all true. I'm always so hungry! Ahhh!

Love What Kids Say

Kids sure love someone pregnant. Everyday I get about 20 questions (18 of those repeated from the day before) about the baby and all things related to it.

"What are you going to name your baby?"
"Can you feel the baby move?"
"Does the baby pee inside you?"
"If the baby pees inside you, does it drink its own pee?"
"When will the baby be here?"
"Will you bring your baby to school?"
"Does it hurt when the baby kicks you?"
"Will you still be our teacher after you have your baby?"
"Can you feel the baby pass gas in your belly?" (My personal favorite.)


If I say I'm tired, a student will say, "Maybe it's because the baby is eating all your food."

If I drop something, a student will say, "It's the baby."

If I eat a piece of cake (happens more often than I'd like to admit), a student will say, "Your baby is going to be really sweet because of all the sugar you eat."

When I told my class the baby is a boy, all the boys shouted, "YESSSSS!" and either jumped out of their seats, or pumped their fists in the air. (Everything is a boy vs. girl contest in the fourth grade. The girls are always ahead, boys. Better to learn it now.)


My baby has already received pictures, letters, and one exceptionally sweet poem (which is now on my fridge).

The baby moving is always a popular topic of conversation...

Little girl: Mrs. Hale, can you feel the baby move?
Me: Yes.
Little girl: Can we feel it?
Me: Not yet, the baby's not big enough for you to feel it. (Lie. Do you want 20 pairs of grubby little hands all over your belly? Thought not.) He's still too little.
Little boy: He doesn't look that little to me.


My belly is another very popular subject...

Little girl 1: Mrs. Hale (slight pause) I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but (another pause) your belly sure is big.
Me: Really?
Little girl 1: Yeah, I mean, at the beginning of the year your belly was only a little big, and now it's huge.
Me: Wow, huge? (And was my belly already "a little big" at the beginning of the year?!)
Little girl 1: Yeah. Definitely.
Little girl 2: Yeah, Mrs. Hale. Isn't Mrs. Bass pregnant too?
Me: Yes. She is!
Little girl 2: Well, you're bigger than her.
(She's due two weeks after me.)

I guess there's no denying I'm looking pretty pregnant these days! My coworkers say how "cute" I look... the kids waste no time bringing me right back down to Earth! Honestly... I love it. I think it's so amazing that kids will say exactly what they're thinking. How can you not love that innocence? They'll be full of polite crap soon enough.

Venting, Apology in Advance

I'm really frustrated right now. First, Jet won't stop nudging me for pets, so typing is difficult. Second, I'm gaining weight at break-neck speed. Third, I think I'm starting to realize that I'm going to have to work after I have the baby.

Sean and I have been pretty relaxed about money the last couple of years. We've been what a friend calls "DINKs." Double income- no kids. And we've loved it. Now, with baby on the way (only 3 1/2 to 4 months to go) we have been "trying" to cut down on spending. We have been saving my entire paycheck- pretending that I'm not working. But that's not really getting us that much further ahead, because we never were really that great at saving- and didn't have to be because honestly, if we needed a large chunk of money for a big bill or something we'd just have to not spend a lot for a month or two, and we'd have it. We've been spoiled.

The upcoming bills are looming over my head now. Taxes (we don't do escrow), car insurance, income taxes (Sean refuses to change his w-2 and so we'll owe- again), Christmas gifts, hospital bills from birthing baby, baby stuff that we'll need, clothes for my rapidly growing ass, and all the little things you need each month, like, say food. Sean would also like to send Jet to a professional dog trainer for a few months right after the baby's born, and would like to continue his duck lease and all his hunting habits and hobbies which have taken him out of town the last three weekends. My hobbies have been long gone. It's been about 6 months since I've had my hair done, and about 8 since I've had a pedicure (can't count since I've had a manicure). I'd love a massage- my back is starting to bother me. I'd love to go shopping. I think I'll end up shopping for all the weddings and baby showers that are coming in my future... and pray that the jeans I squeezed into yesterday will stretch as well as my belly and I'll be able to wear them for a few more months. Right.

These things are all do-able on one income... on paper. What's happening off-paper that is messing it all up? Either we're "not really serious about it" as Sean says, or "we really can't do it" as I say.

If we're not serious about it, then LET'S GET SERIOUS! (I feel like I've been pretty serious, by the way. Giving up professional grooming is NOT something I take lightly.) I need to know if this can be done! This is not hypothetical anymore... we've got mere months before it's really, really real and I need to find mental peace with whether I'm staying home or working. If I'm working- I've got to find a day care. If I'm staying home I need to prepare a lot more at work than if I'm returning.

Work is another story. I'm so exhausted now, I don't know how I'll be able to balance being a new mom and a teacher. I know women who do it, but I honestly wonder if they feel fulfilled at either one. I got home at six both Wednesday and Thursday nights, and last night I got home at seven. This is doing the "normal" teacher stuff. I'm not staying late to prepare for my long term sub or anything... the thought of which is freaking me out (I hate sub planning). I can't do that when I have a baby. I don't want to be doing it now. Contract hours are from 8:00-4:00. I am not OK with staying hours after school each day, I'm not OK with taking lots of work home (you should see the stack of papers I've got to grade today), and I'm not OK with having morning meetings at least three days out of the week. But things keep getting piled on me from somewhere up above and I keep trying to dig my way out without looking like a loser while I'm at it.

Maybe I'll come to an epiphany today while cleaning my house, doing laundry, paying bills, and grading papers- all of which I must consider my new hobbies because I don't seem to do anything else. Well, besides cooking dinner, running errands, and working. I can't wait to see how I'll balance baby into the mix.

I am in need of some (cheap) fun. And an attitude adjustment. Seriously.

A Baby Boy!

Here's a picture of the little angel! We had our ultrasound appointment on Monday. We were both so nervous! It was such a big moment to see the baby whose little bitty feet have been kicking my belly the last couple of weeks! Of course we wanted to know right away if it was a boy or girl, but he had other plans! He was pretty uncooperative (a sign for my future?) but finally gave us the money shot, and made Sean a very happy daddy!


At one point, Sean asked the sonographer if the baby had two arms, because he couldn't see the other one... just as she moved the wand over to get a better picture of his little arm, he raised it right up and waved at us! Already a daddy's boy!

The day was going pretty great, until we talked to the doctor. Our little guy has (the medical term is long and completely scary, so I'll describe this in a much less scary way) a special little heart. As the doctor described it, one part of his heart appears white on the ultrasound. After many, many questions the basics of what I learned is that this is not completely uncommon. 10% of normal babies' hearts visualize this way on ultrasound (1 out of 10 equates to lots and lots of babies when you think about it) and about 50% of babies who have other heath issues (down syndrome, heart problems...) have hearts that visualize this way. Seeing this is in no way an indicator of one of those other issues, it just happens to be more common among those babies. This doesn't mean any future heart or health problems, in fact, they won't even check on it again. It will always appear this way via ultrasound, but won't be an issue for him. Dr. Levin said that she hesitates to tell parents about this, but is obligated to disclose this information to us. She said our risks for anything serious are very low, and she doesn't see any reason to worry.

That is way, way easier said than done. Sean did a little research (I know myself well enough to know that I should never, ever research any health related issues online) and I talked to my little sister who is also a sonographer, and we both keep getting the same answers: there is no reason to worry. This doesn't really mean anything, actually. If they saw other possible problems in addition to his special little heart then they would have said something, and they would have been concerned. This heart anomaly alone isn't an indicator of anything. It just makes him a little special. Like all the left-handers out there.

Everything else looks good. He's the right size, and has all his parts (including one little boy part). And that special little heart was beating away at 140 beats per minute- perfect! We saw his little arms and legs moving, and his little toes! I can't even think how small they must be! Oooooh!

The last couple of days have taught me how much I love this baby. My heart just aches when I think about how much I want him to be healthy and happy. Who wants their child to enter the world with even more challenges than they would have faced being just a "normal" kid? I feel like I'm constantly saying a little prayer for him. I'm constantly replaying all the conversations I've had with the doctor, with my sister, with Sean. I shouldn't worry. I know it. I'm feeling better about it every day (which is why I haven't posted sooner). I am trying to let go, and trust in God. Everything will be OK.


(Deep breath.)