I'm really frustrated right now. First, Jet won't stop nudging me for pets, so typing is difficult. Second, I'm gaining weight at break-neck speed. Third, I think I'm starting to realize that I'm going to have to work after I have the baby.
Sean and I have been pretty relaxed about money the last couple of years. We've been what a friend calls "DINKs." Double income- no kids. And we've loved it. Now, with baby on the way (only 3 1/2 to 4 months to go) we have been "trying" to cut down on spending. We have been saving my entire paycheck- pretending that I'm not working. But that's not really getting us that much further ahead, because we never were really that great at saving- and didn't have to be because honestly, if we needed a large chunk of money for a big bill or something we'd just have to not spend a lot for a month or two, and we'd have it. We've been spoiled.
The upcoming bills are looming over my head now. Taxes (we don't do escrow), car insurance, income taxes (Sean refuses to change his w-2 and so we'll owe- again), Christmas gifts, hospital bills from birthing baby, baby stuff that we'll need, clothes for my rapidly growing ass, and all the little things you need each month, like, say food. Sean would also like to send Jet to a professional dog trainer for a few months right after the baby's born, and would like to continue his duck lease and all his hunting habits and hobbies which have taken him out of town the last three weekends. My hobbies have been long gone. It's been about 6 months since I've had my hair done, and about 8 since I've had a pedicure (can't count since I've had a manicure). I'd love a massage- my back is starting to bother me. I'd love to go shopping. I think I'll end up shopping for all the weddings and baby showers that are coming in my future... and pray that the jeans I squeezed into yesterday will stretch as well as my belly and I'll be able to wear them for a few more months. Right.
These things are all do-able on one income... on paper. What's happening off-paper that is messing it all up? Either we're "not really serious about it" as Sean says, or "we really can't do it" as I say.
If we're not serious about it, then LET'S GET SERIOUS! (I feel like I've been pretty serious, by the way. Giving up professional grooming is NOT something I take lightly.) I need to know if this can be done! This is not hypothetical anymore... we've got mere months before it's really, really real and I need to find mental peace with whether I'm staying home or working. If I'm working- I've got to find a day care. If I'm staying home I need to prepare a lot more at work than if I'm returning.
Work is another story. I'm so exhausted now, I don't know how I'll be able to balance being a new mom and a teacher. I know women who do it, but I honestly wonder if they feel fulfilled at either one. I got home at six both Wednesday and Thursday nights, and last night I got home at seven. This is doing the "normal" teacher stuff. I'm not staying late to prepare for my long term sub or anything... the thought of which is freaking me out (I hate sub planning). I can't do that when I have a baby. I don't want to be doing it now. Contract hours are from 8:00-4:00. I am not OK with staying hours after school each day, I'm not OK with taking lots of work home (you should see the stack of papers I've got to grade today), and I'm not OK with having morning meetings at least three days out of the week. But things keep getting piled on me from somewhere up above and I keep trying to dig my way out without looking like a loser while I'm at it.
Maybe I'll come to an epiphany today while cleaning my house, doing laundry, paying bills, and grading papers- all of which I must consider my new hobbies because I don't seem to do anything else. Well, besides cooking dinner, running errands, and working. I can't wait to see how I'll balance baby into the mix.
I am in need of some (cheap) fun. And an attitude adjustment. Seriously.
Green Denim Divided Basket & Diaper Pouch
4 years ago
Okay my friend. . .I'll figure out some cheap fun for us! You are in need of some stress relief! And, Jim doesn't understand that hobbies cost money either. It's HIGHLY annoying. I have tried many times to tell him how much money we would save if he would just cut out ONE hobby. Ugh. And, it seems like if you are a teacher, then school is your hobby. So unfair. . .You are in my prayers. I am praying that this will work out in your favor.
ReplyDeleteEnough of that. . .fun is on the way!
Girl, here's a couple of thoughts for you...
ReplyDeleteA. It will all change when the baby gets here. I know you think that right now you can't do it because you aren't succeeding at it TODAY. But, when the necessity hits and sinks in you will make sacrifices you never thought possible, especially if it means staying home with your little guy.
B. You are really, really super nice about the hobbies. I think that's awesome, because I could use a dose of that. I think it's important for men to have them. Maybe you guys can set a budget for Sean's hobbies. That way he doesn't have to cut them out, but you guys could agree to a limit for it. You never know how having a baby will changes his eyes on things either.
C. I'm sure you realize that if you go back to work you won't be making near as much due to the cost of working, so you'll be cutting your budget even if you go back to work. So, if you compare it side by side, you might find that going back to work doesn't gain you that much. (Consider cost of daycare, cost of clothing, gas to get there, eating out more, etc.)
D. You could always consider working part time, tutoring would be a great option for you. If you can find something like that you can do without paying daycare you could make up a good portion of the income you'd be losing.
Hang in there, I'll be praying for you guys. It's hard to make rational decisions when you're pregnant anyway. Trust me, when the baby is here you will have a whole new idea about a lot of stuff.
Most tutors who were former KISD teachers charge $50 an hour! Get a few kiddos a few days a week, and that's a nice little income! You already have the materials and resources, so it's easy! Plus, your former students' parents/former co-workers can always recommend you to parents who ask for tutors. I had a ton of people calling right after I left OKE to stay home. I even turned some down because it was too many! Another good thing is that you can tutor from your home, so you truly don't work overtime. You should totally do it. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteAs a dad of 2....all of Sean's activities will slow down. They may not stop (and they shouldn't), but they'll slow down. Be sure to get your time too though. =) Try checking into FPU, http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/ I was not even remotely interested in it, but Katy made me go to a "preview" class. It's actually a really great class.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably the hardest part of pregnancy, at least it was for me. That moment of WTF am I going to do with this baby after it is born? I didn't know how we were going to make it work, either, and I was mad and terrified at the same time. But it all worked out just fine.
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds cheesy, but it all works out in the end. It doesn't mean it isn't hard getting there, per say, but it will resolve itself somehow. I wish you the best.
JoDee...WOW! Tell me how you really feel...hehehe I've been thinking about you and the baby and just haven't had a chance to look you up. SO GLAD I did. I'm sure you guys will be fine. I've done both...stay at home with kiddos and work/be a mom. I've been fulfilled with both..probably more with juggling work/parenting...b/c I got bored at home and spent A LOT of money! haha One can definitely make it work on one pay check, but you are right, you have got to cut things out or it becomes super stressful. And once that cute lil one shows up...Sean will totally want to hang out with him vs. hunting?? Yeah..?? you think?? You are in my thought and prayers..it'll work out.
ReplyDelete