"What are you going to name your baby?"
"Can you feel the baby move?"
"Does the baby pee inside you?"
"If the baby pees inside you, does it drink its own pee?"
"When will the baby be here?"
"Will you bring your baby to school?"
"Does it hurt when the baby kicks you?"
"Will you still be our teacher after you have your baby?"
"Can you feel the baby pass gas in your belly?" (My personal favorite.)
If I say I'm tired, a student will say, "Maybe it's because the baby is eating all your food."
If I drop something, a student will say, "It's the baby."
If I eat a piece of cake (happens more often than I'd like to admit), a student will say, "Your baby is going to be really sweet because of all the sugar you eat."
When I told my class the baby is a boy, all the boys shouted, "YESSSSS!" and either jumped out of their seats, or pumped their fists in the air. (Everything is a boy vs. girl contest in the fourth grade. The girls are always ahead, boys. Better to learn it now.)
My baby has already received pictures, letters, and one exceptionally sweet poem (which is now on my fridge).
The baby moving is always a popular topic of conversation...
Little girl: Mrs. Hale, can you feel the baby move?
Me: Yes.
Little girl: Can we feel it?
Me: Not yet, the baby's not big enough for you to feel it. (Lie. Do you want 20 pairs of grubby little hands all over your belly? Thought not.) He's still too little.
Little boy: He doesn't look that little to me.
My belly is another very popular subject...
Little girl 1: Mrs. Hale (slight pause) I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but (another pause) your belly sure is big.
Me: Really?
Little girl 1: Yeah, I mean, at the beginning of the year your belly was only a little big, and now it's huge.
Me: Wow, huge? (And was my belly already "a little big" at the beginning of the year?!)
Little girl 1: Yeah. Definitely.
Little girl 2: Yeah, Mrs. Hale. Isn't Mrs. Bass pregnant too?
Me: Yes. She is!
Little girl 2: Well, you're bigger than her.
(She's due two weeks after me.)
I guess there's no denying I'm looking pretty pregnant these days! My coworkers say how "cute" I look... the kids waste no time bringing me right back down to Earth! Honestly... I love it. I think it's so amazing that kids will say exactly what they're thinking. How can you not love that innocence? They'll be full of polite crap soon enough.
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