Ah, Pregnancy!

I am so emotional. I started crying at work yesterday. I don't do that, people! That is crazy! I cried on the way home too, then I cried on the way there this morning, and I've cried twice since I've been home tonight.

There is no good reason for all this crying (even though it sounds like I really hate my job or something- I don't! I love it!). Blame it on pregnancy + Sean off-shore again. Grrrr.

Oh, and I probably pee about 20 times a day. This is something I expected, however, I honestly thought I must have had a UTI the other day when I felt like I was going to wet myself all day long. No one should have to pee that bad, constantly, for an entire day. Had to be a UTI. But, no. Just pregnant.

I also feel HUGE (I know, I have a long way to go. Just give me a break, please.). This belly is really growing fast these days. I always thought I would like having a belly and would think it was cute. HA! That sounds hilarious to me now. Like feeling fat?!? Like finding new fat deposits and wait... are those stretch marks on my ass?!?!?!?! AHHH!!!!! I don't like this at all!!! I've turned into a pretty big brat actually... I'm freaked out every morning when my normal clothes don't fit... hellooooo, self, you're 4 1/2 months pregnant, maybe it's time to stop trying to wear your normal clothes!? I also haven't taken a single belly picture. The idea makes me want to puke a little (I get the same feeling when I take my HUGE prenatal vitamins). Maybe I'll change my mind soon and go to one of those posh little photographers and have nude pictures taken when I'm eight months along. Maybe hubby can stand behind me and hold my boobs... HAHAHAhAAHAHAHahahAHAHAH! That's awesome. That is so never going to happen. (To those who do- nothing against it- just saying that it might be me in a nude picture makes me laugh!)

I'm such a brat, really. Listen to me. Can't I be more like my sweet, graceful friends who are always so sweet and so excited about being pregnant? No. I know myself well enough to know that freaking out is just what I do.

Am I alone on this? It seems like every pregnant woman/mother I know has only glowing, precious things to say about the whole experience. Wasn't anyone else completely freaked out?!?

I am finding it hard to be excited about the baby when I'm crying every other minute and finding new reasons why I'll never wear a bathing suit again. Soooo vain. Maybe when I feel the little poop kicking I'll stop focusing on those things, and start remembering that there will be a baby in just a few months! A little BOY if the at-home gender predictor test is right (ultrasound is the 28th!)! I thought I felt a little kicking a couple of days ago, but I haven't felt anything like it since, so I'm thinking it was probably just gas (which I have plenty of lately).

I've been a pretty bad blogger lately too. I usually have sooo much to say, but lately I've felt a little quiet. I think I'm actually embarrassed that I feel so strange instead of feeling fertile and beautiful. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. Moms aren't supposed to feel like this, are they?

One happy thing to add... I ordered a crib yesterday! I can't wait for it to come in! Sean made me promise I'd wait and let him put it together. Remind me to tell you about the desk I tried building... damn IKEA.

Back to Work!!

Today was my first day back to work. Summer is over.

PROS:
Hanging out with kids everyday.
Seeing my awesome teammates, who have become really great friends, everyday.
My partner, Beth!
I get to socialize by butt off everywhere I go! Workroom, hallway, front office...
Everyday is different.
Laughing- lots and lots of laughing!
Having fun sharing my pregnancy with lots of moms and moms-to-be (I work with about 80 women, and 2 men. I love it.).

CONS:
I have to wake up early again.
I have to pack lunches.
I have to grade papers (barf).
Before and after-school meetings (extra barf).
Endless emails and phone calls to respond to.
Hearing my name called about a billion times everyday.
Being really, really NEEDED at all times between 8:10-3:40.
Professional development classes.

Ugh.

OK, let me read those pros again...

A Few Things to Try

1. This AMAZING Mac & Cheese Recipe (click here!)



I have been a life-long lover of mac and cheese. The box variety was my first love, but as I got interested in cooking I learned how to make a pretty mean homemade version. I've since gotten it just right... and when you need something warm and gooey, nothing tops it.



This recipe is completely worth every penny (the cheeses get a little pricey) and every minute you spend tearing bread for the delicious, crusty topping. It's heaven on a plate.



I made it recently for a big family gathering (my brother requested mac and cheese, so I thought I'd try this "fancy" version since it was a special occasion). It was an instant family favorite. I will DEFINITELY make this again!




2. Barbeque Sauce on a Regular 'ol Sandwich




This idea comes from my coworker and friend, Emily. We had a team meeting last week, and she brought over some sandwich fixings for lunch. Next to the mayo and mustard was a bottle of barbeque sauce. She said she likes it on her sandwiches, so I gave it a go (I've seen her lovingly make school hamburgers look like a goumet meal, so I thought she might know what she's talking about).



It was incredible! I downed my sandwich, and had another one! The entire team was finished eating and I was making another sandwich!



She brought Sweet Baby Ray's sauce (SO on my grocery list) and Boar's Head meats (Em calls herself a "Boar's Head Purist"). I suggest the roast beef and turkey with white american cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo, barbeque sauce, and pickles! AMAZING!





3. The Tudors



This series is not kid or family friendly. I would actually suggest watching this all by yourself as a guilty pleasure on a late night with a bowl of popcorn.



If you haven't heard of it, The Tudors is a Showtime series about Henry VIII, and all his wives. I've been facinated by the history of his reign ever since I caught a miniseries on PBS a couple of years ago. It's really a tumultous time in history, and this version is full of juiciness (by which I mean nudity, violence, greed, and just about everything you don't want your kids to see).



Not every episode is created equally, but all in all I've enjoyed watching both the first and second seasons. I get a little giddy when the Netflix envelope comes in the mail!

I'm Not Alone!

WOW! I just read all your comments on my last post! I knew that all men had to be big turds, but you all have made me laugh SO HARD over your slobby-husband stories! We are SO in the same boat! I feel much, much better knowing I'm not alone! Thank you!!!

As a little wrap-up to that post... that night I had a little discussion with Sean about "helping around the house." I didn't let him have it like you may think I did, but I did get my point across. After we finished dinner (which I made, naturally), I sweetly suggested that Sean finish unloading the dishwasher and then, maybe, he could start putting the dirty dishes in it. He was very sweet about it. He usually is, honestly. If I ask him to do something, he does it (however usually on his own, extremely slow, timeline).

As he was cheerfully unloading the dishwasher, he said: "Hey, look at me unloading the dishwasher! I haven't done this in a long time!" (Tone of genuine surprise, and pride at his helpfulness.)

I reply (in my head), "No shit, Sherlock. Who do you think has been doing it for the last couple of months? The dish fairy?" (Tone of extreme sarcasm.)

I reply (out loud), "Thanks for doing this, Sean. It's nice to clean up together since it's so much faster." Yes. I've learned long ago that the sarcastic comments don't really help my cause. Although, sometimes they are worth it.

Good luck with your slobby men!

Gripe Session

I need to vent.

I understand that everyone needs and deserves a couple of days to break down every once in a while. Sit around. Eat junk and not clean up after yourself. I totally get it. I need that too, and every once in a while, when I do choose to act like a lazy slob, I don't want to hear anything about it.

I also realize that I should be a whole lot less self-centered and should consider cleaning and keeping my home as something I do to show my husband how much I love him. I can hear the KSBJ mantra in the background now... something about serving God by serving my family even when I don't want to do it.

I also understand that when I am home on summer break, I should take on a little more. Why not? I'm home more, it just makes sense.


That being said...

I hate house cleaning. I especially hate house cleaning when I am the only one who does it. I can be just as messy as my dear husband, even more so as gross as that is to admit, but the difference between the two of us is that eventually, I actually do something about it. I will finally suck it up and vacuum the floors and clean the kitchen and bathrooms simply because it needs to be done. Not because I want to. Not because I consider this a hobby. And certainly not because I consider this to be more important than other things in life. It just has to be done. Same with laundry. I hate doing the laundry. I hate folding clothes and hate putting them away. But someone still has to do it if I want clean clothes to wear.

If hubby slacks off, I pick up the slack. If I slack off, the house gets grosser and grosser until I kick myself in the butt and say to myself, "You lazy slob. Turn off the TV and get your butt off of the couch and GO DO SOMETHING!"

Why does it have to be this way?

I don't expect star treatment, here. I don't expect to throw a fit and have my darling husband say, "Sweetheart! I can't believe how much I've hurt you by not lifting a finger to keep our home clean! Please, go sit your fat pregnant self down on the couch and let me take care of everything! You shouldn't have to lift a finger! Here's a milkshake, Pookie, you take it easy!"

I would simply like a little of this: "JoDee. You're grocery shopping. You're cooking for us nearly every day. You're cleaning up the kitchen. You're washing all the clothes. You're cleaning the bathrooms. You're vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping. You're running all the errands and keeping track of our finances and making sure the bills are paid on time. You're not working now, but honestly, you do all this while you're working too. You must feel lonely. I'm going to pitch in more often. This home belongs to us both, and you shouldn't be the only one who ever takes the initiative to keep it looking good and sanitary to live in. "

Honestly, I'm probably over exaggerating. I hate to hear myself like this. How pathetic.

I know Sean does things for me. I usually don't have so much to gripe about. I'm just having a really hard time today. Now you'll have to excuse me. I need to finish the laundry and run to the grocery store so we both have something decently healthy to eat for dinner tonight. There's also a shit-ton of dog hair on the floor that is making me sick to my stomach. Must vacuum.

I Called It!

I just have to say, "I was right!" Jillian did pick Ed!!! As I continued to watch The Bachelorette this summer, I liked it more and more! So fun! As I watched the finale, I realized that the two of them ACTUALLY love each other! You can see love ooozing out of their eyes when they look at each other- it's pretty darn adorable. I doubted that anyone could actually fall in love under those conditions, but I think they really did. (Tear!) Good Luck Jillian and Ed! May you get married and have lots of babies and live happily every after!

Knocked Up

That's right. I'm PREGNANT!!! My due date is February 8- I'm twelve weeks along! According to What to Expect, my uterus is now the size of a large grapefruit and the baby is three inches long- or the size of a peach, I may be feeling dizzy as my morning sickness starts to subside and my husband may be feeling left out of the experience. Ha! (You may be wondering how I managed not to blog about this for so long, but you may have also noticed that I haven't really blogged at all in the last couple of months... busy + a little nervous = a long wait to announce to the world.)

Our family and close friends have known for quite a while, and it was starting to get really hard for them to keep it quiet! People were spilling it all over the place (Beth) but it was time anyway! I feel really ready for the world to know!

So, let me answer the Most Frequently Asked Questions about my pregnancy:


1. How are you feeling?

Great! I'm feeling wonderful! I feel a little disbelief at how a baby is actually going to result from a blue plus sign on a plastic stick... I'm excited! So is Sean- he keeps giving me huge bear hugs!


2. Have you gotten morning sickness at all?

No, not really. I had a few moments in the first month or so that I would get a little queasy if I was getting too hungry, but after a little snack, I felt fine. The last week or two, that's been a total non issue. Now, when I get hungry, I MUST EAT NOW!!!! I get pretty freaking pissed off, or begin to cry, if I have to be hungry for longer than, say, 5 minutes.


3. Have you been tired?

Yes! Since it's been summer vacation for me, I have had the luxury of napping whenever I feel like it (usually after I wake up and take a walk) but the last few days of trainings and working in my classroom have worn me out! I hope I pick up a little energy as my second trimester is beginning now... fingers crossed!


4. Are you starting to show yet?

Well... Sean and I notice a belly for sure, but the general population would probably say, "No," I'm not really showing yet. My clothes are getting tight- that's for sure. None of my shorts will button. And that sucks in 105 degree weather. I am really wary of buying too many clothes right now, as I have no idea what I'll look like in the next couple of weeks. My plan is to wait until it's close to back to school (three weeks) and then I'll buy some things I can wear to work- since looking a little goofy in pants held together by a rubber band is much less socially acceptable at work than it is while lounging around my house and running to Randall's.


5. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? Will you find out what it is before it's born?

We are hoping for either a boy or a girl- not both or a combination- as long as it's healthy- we're happy! We will DEFINITELY find out what it is as soon as possible! (Going to take the new pee test soon... had to wait because I was on progesterone due to my recent surgery- doctor says everything looked great, no scar tissue or anything, she just wanted to be on the safe side) I think that it will all feel much more real to me if we know, and can give him/her a name. I think Sean would like a baby boy, and I am feeling torn between the two... we'll be happy either way. What do I think it is? Have I been dreaming? Do I have a "feeling?" (Also much asked questions) I think it's a boy. I haven't been dreaming about boy babies, just think it is. Don't know why.

(On a side note: I think it's pretty funny when people get so passionate about what they think I'm having. It's a 50-50 chance. Your odds are pretty much set. Half of you will be right, and half will be wrong- despite your dreams and energy readings.)


And now, for the questions I have been asking for the last couple of months:

1. How am I going to keep myself from getting majorly fat?

This freaks me out. I KNOW, I KNOW, I'm pregnant and I'm going to gain weight. I'm perfectly happy gaining weight- that's not the same thing as getting FAT. You know what I mean- I don't want my ass to multiply and to have tree-trunk legs just because I have a baby belly. My plan? Try to eat as healthy as I can without being obsessive, and get exercise at least 5 days a week. Am I meeting these goals... almost. Will keep trying...


2. Why does Chick-fil-a taste like heaven?

Oh, Chick-fil-a, your chicken nuggets and chicken biscuits have me weak at the knees. I love you. I loooove you!!!! I've loved you since high school, but only now have I realized the deep, passionate infatuation I have for you! (Don't you feel left out chocolate, or pasta, or JUST ABOUT ANY FOOD PRODUCT OUT THERE! I love you all- just the smell of cheese melting, or the sight of some french fries on a McDonald's commercial get my head spinning. Food tastes so good. I love food. And, I'm supposed to try not to gain more than 25-30 pounds. This is torture.)


3. Is everything going to be OK?

Am I going to be a good mom? Will I make it through this pregnancy without any serious issues? How is our life going to change? I could just keep on going... it's all just so HUGE. This is a HUGE LIFE CHANGING EVENT! It's like looking forward to your wedding day. You know it's one of the biggest choices you're making in your life- and it's so HUGE- and when it's finally arrived- you can't believe it's actually here! That's how I feel right now. Am I actually pregnant? Is what I looked forward to for so long actually happening right now? We're really going to be parents? It's so unreal. It's also so amazing

After I took one test on my own that had the slightest little blue line you've ever seen (or did we imagine it?), we took this next test at three in the morning! We read that you should do it first thing in the morning... well I woke up at 3 and had to go! So, we decided to go for it right then. As you can see... pregnant!