I am so emotional. I started crying at work yesterday. I don't do that, people! That is crazy! I cried on the way home too, then I cried on the way there this morning, and I've cried twice since I've been home tonight.
There is no good reason for all this crying (even though it sounds like I really hate my job or something- I don't! I love it!). Blame it on pregnancy + Sean off-shore again. Grrrr.
Oh, and I probably pee about 20 times a day. This is something I expected, however, I honestly thought I must have had a UTI the other day when I felt like I was going to wet myself all day long. No one should have to pee that bad, constantly, for an entire day. Had to be a UTI. But, no. Just pregnant.
I also feel HUGE (I know, I have a long way to go. Just give me a break, please.). This belly is really growing fast these days. I always thought I would like having a belly and would think it was cute. HA! That sounds hilarious to me now. Like feeling fat?!? Like finding new fat deposits and wait... are those stretch marks on my ass?!?!?!?! AHHH!!!!! I don't like this at all!!! I've turned into a pretty big brat actually... I'm freaked out every morning when my normal clothes don't fit... hellooooo, self, you're 4 1/2 months pregnant, maybe it's time to stop trying to wear your normal clothes!? I also haven't taken a single belly picture. The idea makes me want to puke a little (I get the same feeling when I take my HUGE prenatal vitamins). Maybe I'll change my mind soon and go to one of those posh little photographers and have nude pictures taken when I'm eight months along. Maybe hubby can stand behind me and hold my boobs... HAHAHAhAAHAHAHahahAHAHAH! That's awesome. That is so never going to happen. (To those who do- nothing against it- just saying that it might be me in a nude picture makes me laugh!)
I'm such a brat, really. Listen to me. Can't I be more like my sweet, graceful friends who are always so sweet and so excited about being pregnant? No. I know myself well enough to know that freaking out is just what I do.
Am I alone on this? It seems like every pregnant woman/mother I know has only glowing, precious things to say about the whole experience. Wasn't anyone else completely freaked out?!?
I am finding it hard to be excited about the baby when I'm crying every other minute and finding new reasons why I'll never wear a bathing suit again. Soooo vain. Maybe when I feel the little poop kicking I'll stop focusing on those things, and start remembering that there will be a baby in just a few months! A little BOY if the at-home gender predictor test is right (ultrasound is the 28th!)! I thought I felt a little kicking a couple of days ago, but I haven't felt anything like it since, so I'm thinking it was probably just gas (which I have plenty of lately).
I've been a pretty bad blogger lately too. I usually have sooo much to say, but lately I've felt a little quiet. I think I'm actually embarrassed that I feel so strange instead of feeling fertile and beautiful. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. Moms aren't supposed to feel like this, are they?
One happy thing to add... I ordered a crib yesterday! I can't wait for it to come in! Sean made me promise I'd wait and let him put it together. Remind me to tell you about the desk I tried building... damn IKEA.
Green Denim Divided Basket & Diaper Pouch
4 years ago
Oh my goodness, I am laughing so hard. I'm so glad you won't be posting nude pictures with Sean holding your boobs, lol.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, you sound like Barbara!
JoDee--(first, it was good to see you at the reunion the other night!) I found your blog! Hope you dont mind me peeking in. I just felt the need to let you know that you are not alone in your pregnancy feelings. I NEVER felt pretty/sexy/glowing during pregnancy! I always felt like you felt- HUGE. All of my friends loved being pregnant and had the perfect pregnancy!!! NOT ME!!!! From the get-go I felt bloated and emotional and FREAKED OUT! Some women are just better at it than others. But you are right... feeling the baby makes it a little better. I bet you look a million times cuter than you feel. It will all be worth it in the end. :-)
ReplyDeleteHey shoot me your email so I can invite you to our blog if you want. I made it private when I found out some random people in other countries were reading it. I felt weird with so many pictures and information about Mia in it.
You crack me up!! I am very familiar with the crying and it's even worse when the hubby is gone! When Kyle was in CO I cried all the time so dont feel like you're losing it, hehe! First off, I just saw you at HEB and you looked amazing! You're in what I like to call the "fat stage" of pregnancy ...you know when you don't look really pregnant and have this nice round belly but you have this pooch and none of your clothes fit and people wonder, "Is she pregnant or does she just have a pooch?" Yeah that stage isn't the best (its worse on you, nobody else really notices!)but it will pass and once it's a true belly it's better. Just wait until that middle stage is over! And yes feeling the baby move will make a huge difference too! =)
ReplyDeleteAfter reading my comment it kinda sounds like after I saw you at HEB I think you're in a "fat stage"! NOT AT ALL!! haha, it just sounds bad reading it! The "fat stage" is really only noticable to you! Everyone else thinks you look great and can't tell a difference but to you nothing is fitting but you dont really feel pregnant with a big belly yet. Am I making better sense?? Damn, I hope so! =) Oh and I dont like those revealing belly pics either! There's something weird about wearing a tube top bra and trying to look sexy when you're showing off the baby in your belly! =)
ReplyDeleteOMG. Don't get me started. Every month before my appointment, I go through my closet trying to find the clothes that I think weigh the least. As if they are going to make the difference in me gaining a just little weight or a lot. No, no, I think it was the cruise we just went on that did me in during August. And on the cruise, I was afraid someone was going to roll me off the beach and send me back to my home in the ocean! But there is absolutely NO way that YOU can look anything but adorable pregnant. I know you don't feel it, but I know you are one of "them"...the cute preggos that the Shamus are jealous of.
ReplyDeleteAnd the stretch marks fade, so no worries. They suck, but at least they get lighter and less noticeable.
On another note, 4 of my friends who are due around the same time as me took the gender test. I did, too. ALL of ours said boy. Three are having girls, and two of us are having boys. So you may just want to consider that you just peed on $40 worth of inaccuracy. Although, I'm such a sucker and would totally do it again with the next kid! It was pretty fun.
Thanks for being so honest in your posts. You are just saying what we are all thinking!!
LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteHave you ever read Jenny McCartney's Belly Laughs? She also has Baby laughs and Life Laughs...
You will LOVE IT and it's a hilarious adventure of what only we go through!