Gripe Session

I need to vent.

I understand that everyone needs and deserves a couple of days to break down every once in a while. Sit around. Eat junk and not clean up after yourself. I totally get it. I need that too, and every once in a while, when I do choose to act like a lazy slob, I don't want to hear anything about it.

I also realize that I should be a whole lot less self-centered and should consider cleaning and keeping my home as something I do to show my husband how much I love him. I can hear the KSBJ mantra in the background now... something about serving God by serving my family even when I don't want to do it.

I also understand that when I am home on summer break, I should take on a little more. Why not? I'm home more, it just makes sense.


That being said...

I hate house cleaning. I especially hate house cleaning when I am the only one who does it. I can be just as messy as my dear husband, even more so as gross as that is to admit, but the difference between the two of us is that eventually, I actually do something about it. I will finally suck it up and vacuum the floors and clean the kitchen and bathrooms simply because it needs to be done. Not because I want to. Not because I consider this a hobby. And certainly not because I consider this to be more important than other things in life. It just has to be done. Same with laundry. I hate doing the laundry. I hate folding clothes and hate putting them away. But someone still has to do it if I want clean clothes to wear.

If hubby slacks off, I pick up the slack. If I slack off, the house gets grosser and grosser until I kick myself in the butt and say to myself, "You lazy slob. Turn off the TV and get your butt off of the couch and GO DO SOMETHING!"

Why does it have to be this way?

I don't expect star treatment, here. I don't expect to throw a fit and have my darling husband say, "Sweetheart! I can't believe how much I've hurt you by not lifting a finger to keep our home clean! Please, go sit your fat pregnant self down on the couch and let me take care of everything! You shouldn't have to lift a finger! Here's a milkshake, Pookie, you take it easy!"

I would simply like a little of this: "JoDee. You're grocery shopping. You're cooking for us nearly every day. You're cleaning up the kitchen. You're washing all the clothes. You're cleaning the bathrooms. You're vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping. You're running all the errands and keeping track of our finances and making sure the bills are paid on time. You're not working now, but honestly, you do all this while you're working too. You must feel lonely. I'm going to pitch in more often. This home belongs to us both, and you shouldn't be the only one who ever takes the initiative to keep it looking good and sanitary to live in. "

Honestly, I'm probably over exaggerating. I hate to hear myself like this. How pathetic.

I know Sean does things for me. I usually don't have so much to gripe about. I'm just having a really hard time today. Now you'll have to excuse me. I need to finish the laundry and run to the grocery store so we both have something decently healthy to eat for dinner tonight. There's also a shit-ton of dog hair on the floor that is making me sick to my stomach. Must vacuum.