My Valentines

Of course, this sweet, sweet, snuggly little man is one of my loves. He makes me smile. And, of course, start crying hysterically when I think about him growing up and finding another Valentine one day. Boo! Can I just keep him like this forever, please? Thanks.




And how I got so lucky to marry this man, I'll never know. His love is my greatest blessing.



He's all mine, ladies.





My furry baby. Such a sweet, loyal, and loving dog. He puts up with Carson climbing over him... and me forgetting him outside... and still wants to snuggle in my lap whenever he gets a chance.


I sure do love my three men.

29 going on 72

I turn 30 in 5 months. And I thought I had been handling it pretty well. I've been carded* a few times lately, and that was pretty cool.

Then yesterday happened. And now it's confirmed. I am old.

At the Origins counter at Macy's I was greeted in the following way:

Saleswoman 1: Hello! How are you today!

Me: Good, and you?

Saleswoman 1: Great! We just got in some new eye cream you'd probably be interested in trying.

Me: (Looking around to see if she was talking to me. Indeed she was.) Um, no actually I would like to buy more of your exfoliator. I just ran out and the weather is so dry my skin is peeling like crazy. Oh, and a heavy duty moisturizer too. Need to fight this winter skin.

Saleswoman 1: Of course. Do you know which moisturizer you'd like?

Me: No, what would you recommend. (Mistake)

Saleswoman 1: How about this one.

Reading the label it is AGE ERASING CREAM... REDUCE LINES AND WRINKLES... BEST FOR AGE FIGHTING PROTECTION.

Me: OK. I'm ready to check out (and go home and cry) now. I guess I need to get my skin back in shape.

Saleswoman 2: You have beautiful skin!


Thank you Saleswoman 2. May God bless you with many years of health and happiness.

I am still trying to recover from this encounter. I am not sure I can.


*Sean asked about me being carded, "Did you have the baby with you?" Yes, I did, don't worry I wasn't in a bar, but the grocery store buying wine. Surprise. I'm pretty sure I was carded because I wasn't wearing any make-up, was in sweats, and had my hair in a pony tail. The checker was probably looking around for the MTV camera, assuming someone who looked so pathetic with a small child was being filmed for Teen Mom.

Happy First Birthday, Carson!

Dear Carson,

Dear Biggie,

Dear Angel,


I can't believe it's already been a year since you came and made us a family of three. I marvel everyday how much you've grown into a little person over these 12 months and how much you've changed me for the better. Your Daddy and I love you more than life. We wouldn't trade a day with you for anything in this world.

You make every day special and we look forward to all the moments we'll get to spend with you in your future. You are the best thing that's ever happened to us. The BEST.

Thanks for all the smiles, tears, and giggles this year, sweet little man. What a happy lady you've made me.

With more LOVE than you can possibly imagine,

XO
(holding back the tears...)

Your Mommy







































































Thanks so much to all our family and friends who made Carson's first birthday party amazing. Thank you so much for helping celebrate our special little guy, and more than anything, thank you for loving him almost as much as we do! :) We are all so lucky to have you in our lives.

Much love...

Pop Quiz

Try to answer the following questions, keeping in mind that my son had the stomach flu yesterday and last night I was up every hour on the hour cleaning up vomit and such and am now totally sleep deprived and a raging bitch.

1. My husband volunteers to do the laundry because

a. he is a clean freak.
b. his life-long dream is to own a coin-operated laundry mat.
c. he loves the smell of Arm and Hammer Free.
d. he would rather fold every article of clothing in the house than entertain a cranky baby.


2. A child, when angry and fussing, always "wants his mommy" because

a. his mother has super powers that immdiately calm said baby.
b. he loves his mother more than anything in the world, even sugary cereal.
c. no one wants to hold a crying baby. The child's mother doesn't have a choice. When someone says, "oh, he just wants his mommy," mommy has to act like this is true and that she wants nothing more than to hold her fussing baby, when in all honesty everyone should say the truth: "mommy is the only one who loves her baby enough to deal with this hysteria and she deserves a gold medal."
d. she's just so darn pretty without a shower and covered in baby vomit.


3. I have decided it's vitally important to decorate NOW for Carson's birthday party that is one week away because I

a. am a total loser.
b. will actually need an entire week to complete the amount of birthday ridiculocity I have planned.
c. have nothing better to do.
d. both a and b.


4. I went on a walk this evening with my husband and son because I

a. love nature.
b. love exercise.
c. will do anything to not hear a fussing baby with football commentary in the background.
d. enjoy seeing all the gorgreous winter landscaping in my neighborhood.


5. My child is about to turn one year old. What else have I not done in about a year?

a. had a pedicure.
b. slept in past 7 am.
c. fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans.
d. all of the above.


6. I should stop this post immediately because

a. I would rather be cleaning my bathrooms.
b. I can't wait to put away all the folded clothes laid all over my living room couches.
c. I'm about to be wisked away by Prince-f-ing-Charming.
d. my complaints are so pathetic that I should be slapped and there are people out there with problems that make me look like a pretty-pretty princess on her big, fat, annoying throne.


Answers:
1. Obviously, d.
2. Ummm, hello, c.
3. D, duh.
4. You don't know me well enough if you said anything other than c.
5. Yes. D; all of the above. And now I'm going to cry.
6. Prince Charming is waiting, y'all.

Motherhood Surprises

Carson's first birthday is coming up so quickly; it's turning me into a teary-eyed mess. I cried three times yesterday- and that was during a 30 minute car ride. I am so, so thrilled that we've all actually survived his first year, and I'm so sad that it's passed by so quickly.

Coming home from the hospital. Sigh!

My BIG guy at the park.

I can't believe how different he is now! And how much FUN he's become!

I'm sure the next couple of weeks will be filled with sappy posts like this one. I just can't help myself! My baybee is getting sooooo biiiiig!!! I loooooove him!!!!

So, here are a few things that have surprised me about motherhood during the past 11 months, 1 week, 3 days, and 2 hours (sob, sob!)...


1. Motherhood is All-Consuming

My thought process about everything is completely different. Every single minute of every day I am thinking about Carson, where he is, what he's doing, when he needs to eat/nap/bathe/play... and how am I going to fit in the things I need to do around all these baby activities? Do I hear him on the baby monitor? How long has he been sleeping? Is that another tooth? Was that just a sneeze or is he getting sick? Do I smell poop?

I am always in mommy-mode. Even when we are away from him. It's exhausting. I guess I thought that when I wasn't around him, or during naptime, I would be able to shut it off and really relax- but nope. I'm always thinking about him.

I also thought that I would be able to have an adult conversation without talking about him. HA! I'm that boring mom who only wants to talk about her kid. The proof- this blog. I gush about him and that's about it ever since he was born. This mommy-thing is totally all I do now.


2. My New Bathroom Visitor

I didn't realize that as soon as Carson could crawl, I would have a friend every time I need to use the restroom. Seriously... I would love to just have like, 2 minutes to pee and be by myself. But the problem is- if he's not in the restroom with me, I have no idea what he's getting into. So, I have a bathroom visitor each time I go. He follows me in and proceeds to unroll the toilet paper, pull everything out of the cabinets, and my personal favorite, pull up on my lap and smile at me. I guess when you pee your pants it's not that gross to be so close to your mommy while she's peeing. It's such a special part of motherhood that I didn't anticipate.


3. The LONG Transition to SAHM

Before I even got pregnant I so wanted to be a SAHM (I'm sure you know, but will say anyway- that's Stay At Home Mom). And honestly, it's taken much longer than I thought it would to actually adjust to it.

When I taught, I had a school-family that I got to see everyday. I was a part of something outside of my home that gave me a sense of self-worth. I was important to those 22 kids and my teammates. It meant the world to me.

Staying at home, my world is completely different. So, so different. I am surrounded by a different set of people (a much smaller set). My only teammate is my husband. My day doesn't have a start and an end, and I don't have a "weekend." All my days kind of run into each other; one big long pattern of feed the baby, play with the baby, put the baby to sleep, sneak in some "me time", run errands, clean up, feed the baby, play with the baby, put the baby to sleep...

I have to find things to focus on and look forward to so that I don't feel like I'm in a rut. Play dates are vital. I LOVE PLAY DATES!!!! I need that mommy-mommy conversation so I don't feel like I'm alone. Obviously, I'm not alone. I mean, that's stupid. But when your old world seems to move on without you, it does feel a little lonely at first.

I've gotten way more into hobbies than I was when I was working- and I think that's how I'm replacing that need for feeling fulfilled. When I finish a sewing project- it's done. It stays done. And I can look at it and feel good about it. Carson is a total work in progress and being a mommy is never done. Also- as babies are- he's totally ungrateful. When I make a gift for someone- they tend to thank me. Even if they don't like it, they still thank me. It's nice to feel appreciated.

Sorry for the rambling... It's just really surprising to me how long it's taken me to adjust, especially when I wanted it so badly. Now, almost a year later, I feel OK that my world is different. I don't feel like I'm scrambling to hold on to what I had anymore. I'm a SAHM and it's OK. It's good. Actually, it's great! I've gotten to spend the majority of Carson's first year with him, and I'll never be able to replace that. And, I don't miss grading papers. Or parent conferences. Or Meet the Teacher Night. Or Open House... OK. I'll stop. Although I could go on.

Fun with Fire

A few weeks ago, Sean and I bought a fire-pit for the back yard and have since been obsessed with it. We light up a fire at least once a week, usually a couple times... or more. We almost always smell of Mesquite smoke. S'more ingredients are now staples in our pantry. When we wake up in the morning after a fire the night before, we just throw a couple of logs on the still-hot coals and have another fire.

That's what we did this past Saturday, and then we got a little creative. We had done the whole steaks-on-the-pit thing the night before (it was delish) and thought we needed more of a challenge. So, I whipped up some pizza dough and sauce and we brought the pizza stone out to the pit.

With a little crafty engineering on Sean's part (he was really into it), we ended up with some really tasty pizza!

Grandma helped put the pizzas together. I was too busy cracking up and taking pictures to be any help.

So proud of himself. That's my husband. He has a very healthy self-esteem.



I must admit, it was really good. Carson agreed.

Carson and Jet played in the yard after eating some pizza (don't worry, Jet got some too. Carson feeds him all. the. time.).

My sweetie. So lovable.

Jet hates this.

I love the look on his face when he's crawling for something he wants. In this case: Grandma.

Jet LOVES sticks, and won't let Carson hold onto one for long.

Oh, yep, there he goes. Stick stealer.

Grandma getting lots of snuggles with "her baby."