Back Again

I’ve been away. Let me explain…

1. The last few weeks of school are CRAZY. I end up working so much, so many late nights, so many meetings… I get worn out. I’ve been so tired. I end up neglecting everything that isn't necessary to do instantly. (Friday is my last day. Hallelujah!)

2. I found out Memorial Day weekend that my parents are separating. A very sad three day weekend.

I am the oldest of four. My parents got married and had me very young. They have been married for nearly 30 years. I can’t say I was totally surprised when I found out, but it was still shocking. It is so, so hard to hear that hurt in your parents’ voices and realize that your family will never be the same.

I had known for a while that there was trouble in paradise. You’d have to be comatose not to pick up on the tension. It was easy to ignore, but it was there for years. As the whole story actually unfolded, I felt like I was in a Lifetime Movie. Nuff said.

Now, a couple of weeks later, I’m feeling OK. Normal, day to day life for me is going to be relatively the same. It’s nice that I already have my own home and don’t have to live right in the middle of it. I know that holidays are going to be complicated. Family get-togethers are going to be complicated. For instance… Sean and I want to have our families over for dinner this weekend. Do I invite Mom or Dad? Who will be less offended if they are not invited? Surely they’re not OK to be around each other yet and I don’t want this to turn into huge drama. Or, do I call them and say “I want you both to be there. Suck it up.” Doubtful. I'm sure it's just going to take some time. We'll figure out something that works, I hope.

Oh! I almost forgot! Two days after this news broke... I lost my wedding ring. We've backtracked so many times. We've looked everywhere we can think of. Sean thinks that when he was taking out the trash one morning, he scooped trash off the kitchen counter, and swept the ring in the can right along with it. It makes me sick to think that my beautiful ring is just sitting in a pile of trash somewhere.

Luckily we had the engagement ring insured (not the new setting, of course) so we'll get to replace at least that part. Sean wants to replace the entire ring just as we had it, and I hope we can. We'll see. There are lots of things that we could spend that money on, so I'm not sure what to do. I also feel incredibly guilty about losing it, and I don't think I really deserve to get a new one. It sucks. Sean was so sweet about it all. As I was bawling my eyes out, feeling like a total idiot, he says, "It was just a thing. We haven't lost anything important. You and I are right here and we're better than ever. It was just a ring and it can be replaced." What a guy.

Man, this whole post is kind of a downer. I'm actually feeling pretty good now. I've had some time to process and things are looking up. I'm soooo ready for a break from everything. Summer vacation starts next week? Perfect timing.