My Uterus

I found out today that (warning any men who may be reading this. Ha! Right! My own husband doesn't read my blog!) terrible, knock you out, heinous periods that last forever, and then never really go away... not normal.

I went to the gyno last week and described what I thought was my own personal blessing, and she suggested an ultrasound to see if all is well. I had my ultrasound today. (Feeling for you pregos out there- who knew you could get a better picture by using a clever little wand. Hm. That was an experience.)

Truly, I thought that Dr. Levin would say that I am just an annoying, whiny bitch and I needed to woman up. But no. She said I have a fibroid. And in a couple of weeks, I will be getting that little sucker biopsied and then, most likely, getting it all sucked out in an outpatient surgery.

Here's my summary of Dr. Levin's spiel:

1. Fibroids cause terrible periods.
2. Fibroids cause spotting.
3. Fibroids keep you from getting pregnant.
4. Fibroids are an easy to solve problem.

I am not going to WebMD this... since I'm sure I'll find lots of things to scare the poop out of me. It'll be OK. In fact, it will be great!

I could have easier periods, less spotting, and a BABY! That's what I'm going to think, anyway.

Prayers welcome.

Holy Hangover

As Jenette would say, last night I "tied one on." Had a blast. Showed off my Rock Band skills.

Our neighbor brought over his sweet, seven-year-old yellow lab, Wishes. She's Jet's girlfriend. He thinks so anyway. She's really not that into him. But it was ADORABLE! Jet had to be next to her- he'd roll over on his back and just wiggle around for her! He'd lick her little ears, and by the end of the night, they were both just laying next to each other on the floor! We need to have her over more often! I wish I had thought to take some pictures. Next time...

Today? Feeling pretty barfy. Note to self: next time, more Rock Band and mini burgers, less vodka.

Cleanse- HA!

OK, so I totally failed this 12 day cleanse. I ate the following things over the past twelve days:

1 piece of AMAZING home made carrot cake (by me- for Dad's birthday. Don't mind tooting my own horn on that one.)

Approximately 6 glasses of wine (to which I think I may be allergic. Is that possible?)

Two beers

1 piece of Amaretto cake (from Ooh La La Bakery- Phenomenal. )

Several cubes of cheese

1 hot dog

Tiny bites, here and there, of things that just looked really, really good and now can't even remember. Those probably weren't worth it.


OK, so now what? Well, I will focus on the positive and keep on trucking!

Things I did well:

Met 100% of my workout goals for the past two weeks.

Ate at least 5 fruits and veggies each day.

Drank more water than I usually do- more than 8 cups a day!

I lost 5 pounds (mostly because I got sick and didn't eat for about 3 days) and I guess my clothes are fitting a little better.

I am meeting my work friends later to plan some lessons... and I'm bring a veggie tray. That's right. I just cut up lots of really pretty fresh veggies! No ordering pizza for us!


Pizza sounds sooooo good! I'm screwed.

Exhausted Babbling

I don't want to hear my name any more today. I don't want to answer any more questions, or make any more decisions. I want it to be really, really quiet for a long time. I don't want anyone to need me for the night.

I can't be healthy yet, because I'm not normally so exhausted after a day of work. It wasn't even that bad, honestly. Even my special friends weren't on their game today. I split up one potential fight, but other than that it wasn't that bad. Teaching measurement conversions was like pulling teeth... man I'm tired.

I've managed to avoid all the AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS looking chocolates that were piled on my desk from the Valentine party I missed (my partner has been grazing through them the past two days and I sincerely hope she eats it all very, very soon). I walked in the cafeteria today, and the scent of pizza and corn (oh, yes, the same pizza and corn you ate in elementary school) smelled like HEAVEN! I ate my spinach salad and pouted. Today was day 3 of 12 of my no dairy, no bread, no sugar, no alcohol cleanse. I can't wait until day 13.

One funny story before I fall asleep...

One of my favorite students ever, a tiny little Asian guy, was telling people that I "passed away." Ha! I think he meant "passed out" which didn't really happen either... I guess that may be why a parent told my partner that she heard "Mrs. Hale almost died!" Ha! Ha!

I want...

bread
ice cream
cookies
pasta
cheese
candy bars
cheese burgers
pizza

I want anything that is full of sugar or fat
Lots and lots and lots of sugar

Something chewy
Something salty?

cheetos
doritos
Mexican Food!!!!

Oh, and lots of cosmos
margaritas
Vodka sodas
wine
wine
and wine

This "12 day cleanse" totally
SUCKS

So ends day one.

My Furry Nurse

The last few days, while I've been sick and sick and sick, Jet's been my nurse and constant companion. When I napped, he napped, and when I needed a little pick me up, he was always there with his toy to cheer me up! My sleeves were covered in dog slobber by the end of each day because he'd come check on me and set his big-ol' face right on my shoulder. I didn't mind at all.



Yesterday, when I got home from the doctor, it was the first time I'd gotten outside in a while and it was such a beautiful day! Jet and I went outside and enjoyed the sun. He chewed a stick, while I sat on the patio and drank some liquid cherry jello (sounds gross- but is amazingly full of sugary deliciousness- nothing more powerful than mom and grandma's old home remedies!).

Jet loves to chew up a nice, fat stick! He made fast work of this one- it took him about 2 minutes. And the aftermath left behind as he ran around the yard doing his second favorite thing, sniffing...

Reasons I Love My Husband

The past few weeks have been rough for me. Let me give you a run down... (and a warning- I will be giving medical details.)

1. Bladder infection
2. Ear infection
3. Yeast Infection from the blessed antibiotics
4. Near pass-out at school when menstrual cramps knock me off my ass*


Appartently, the antibiotic that I was taking for the ear infection (after giving me a yeast infection) killed all but one super-bad bacteria in my gut and I ended up with some serious


5. Diarrhea



Now, after missing three days of work, and making another doctor's visit, I am finally getting a little energy back. I've been an emotional mess (due in part to my monthy visitor who popped up right before the diarrhea) and I think Sean is right when he said, "Weak body, weak mind." I have been close to tears for days, and I feel so spent.



Now, I'll probably start crying again when I tell you how wonderful my husband has been.



First, he sent me the most beautiful roses at school. He likes me to enjoy my flowers the entire week before Valentine's Day, and he always sends the sweetest note! This time, however, I was out sick and didn't get to enjoy my flowers at all. We both kept thinking I would get better and see the flowers the next day... but when I called my sub yesterday I just started crying! I missed the flowers arriving, and now I hadn't gotten to enjoy them for two days, and was about to miss out on them for another day.


I called Sean, and I think he realized just how miserable and exhausted I was. We got off the phone, and he called the doctor's office and made an appointment for me. Then he came home from work and brought my flowers! He called the school and had someone bring them up to the office! Next, he stopped at the grocery store and picked up some things to make me chicken soup (and he even looked up a recipe before he left work)! He was so cute out there making soup! He only asked a couple of questions about where things were, and he followed those directions to a T! Adorable!



I felt so much better when I saw those beautiful flowers and ate that amazing soup he made me!










I've never seen such beautiful roses. Really. And the soup was soooo good! Look how pretty it is!

He absolutely waited on me hand and foot the last few days. I just don't think there are lots of men out there who would leave work at a moment's notice and rush home to deliver flowers and make their wives homemade soup. (Now I'm crying) He's amazing. Love of my life.

And how embarrassing is it that I was home with terrible diarrhea!! I mean terrible. I know why old people can die from it now. That shit wipes you out. (Ha!) I can't end a post on a sad note!


*Received a text message from a friend whose daughter I taught last year, "Are you OK?" Of course, I think she's talked to my mother-in-law who drove me home... but NO. She saw a text on her daugher's cell phone that says, "Mrs. Hale passed out at school!" Great... I'm the subject of junior higher's text-messages.